You have made the decision. You are getting divorced. Everything looks complicated and your emotions are out of control. Maybe you have an intense legal battle ahead of you. Where do you go from here? 

When times are rough, sometimes it is a good idea to take a step back to really question a situation. Psychology says a person’s ability to navigate life’s challenges can have a lot to do with the kinds of questions they ask. Good questions lead to better thinking. As you approach your pending divorce, use these questions to give yourself a clearer frame of mind. 

What are my priorities?  

Some divorces are straightforward; others are not. You may require significant legal help if there are major disagreements between you and your spouse. How much can you afford to fight, and what matters most? Some couples have children, so custody is a top priority. Other couples co-own businesses. Many have pets. Take a moment to think about what is most important to you and why. Then, consider your checkbook. 

What assets do we share? 

Divorce is a question of who gets what. Take inventory of all your assets, particularly those you share. Do you own a business? What about your retirement savings? Oh, and you cannot forget the vacation home in both of your names. When you go through a divorce, dividing up your assets will be one of the biggest parts of the equation. 

How am I venting my frustration? 

Being mindful of what you say and how you express any divorce-related frustrations can be beneficial. Bad-mouthing your spouse in front of your kids or on social media can portray you in a negative light during divorce proceedings. Think before you speak (or click “share”). 

Am I taking care of myself? 

Take a look at your life and identify any places you see gaps in self-care. Then, find ways to fill them in. While a divorce can be overwhelming, it is important to make time for your own health and well-being.